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To Become A Wiser Person, Focus On Curiosity

Forbes Coaches Council

Emotional Intelligence Executive Master Coach at InLight Coaching. Let EI enhance your career and relationships with EQi-2/360® Assessments.

In almost any situation, it can be easy to lean on your assumptions. Whether at home or at work, making assumptions often seems like the best way to keep things moving without expending a lot of time and energy. However, these (often uninformed) beliefs can make you prone to mistakes and lead to suboptimal decisions.

A better, wiser approach is one built from curiosity. People guided by curiosity have an interest in and desire for more information, and they relish any opportunity to play and experiment. Developing this trait can lead to exciting discoveries and uncovering truths.

Curiosity Is A Vital Component Of Growth

When we make assumptions, we fail to observe the world around us properly. This prevents us from acknowledging that people and situations can change. Building our ideas and behaviors on things that aren't true, then, sets us up for failure. Meanwhile, the act of being curious inherently means seeking the truth. Having an inquisitive nature about life helps us learn and ask more interesting questions. This can ultimately result in bigger, bolder decisions.

A lifetime of assumptions can make our lives stale and shuttered, while curiosity throws open the windows and lets the light shine in. While it can be scary to abandon our assumptions and question our foundations, holding on to them keeps us in a rut and can prevent us from forming authentic relationships.

Developing emotional intelligence is one way to change your viewpoint toward a more curious one. This skill raises your awareness as you navigate situations, which can keep you open-minded to people's suggestions and new ideas. Using your emotional intelligence to improve your curiosity will also encourage you to become more interested in new ways of seeing the world.

How To Be More Curious

The key to being a curious person is to question and challenge everything. Here are a few strategies to help you build a curiosity habit.

Embrace the quiet.

Become a fan of the lost art of being intentionally present. Make space and time to meditate, even if only for a few minutes each day. Notice and observe your thoughts, and adapt the mindfulness mantra of “Be here, not there.” This allows you to develop new relationships with your thoughts because you acknowledge them but don't let them take over.

Challenge your assumptions.

As you practice mindfulness, try to notice when your thoughts are actually assumptions. Ask yourself, "Is this thought the only truth?” You may begin to realize how many things you consider factual are, in truth, unsubstantiated.

Go deeper when engaging with people.

A key part of moving past your assumptions is viewing people and situations on a deeper level. Things aren't always as they first appear. Even if you think you understand someone’s reaction or motivation, consider what other explanations could exist. Identifying and labeling feelings as accurately as possible helps you get to the heart of any matter. Challenging your initial assumptions will reframe your thought processes so you can avoid making snap judgments.

Have question-based conversations.

Remember that a curiosity-fueled dialogue involves constant, respectful questioning. The most productive conversations aren't composed entirely of assumed facts. They acknowledge all perspectives, using questions to learn more and make informed decisions. To avoid assumptions, try focusing on the "quest" part of "question." Dialogues are a journey people go on together to reach a shared goal.

Avoid binary thinking.

Seeing some ideas as correct and others as wrong is a guaranteed way to get stuck in the land of assumptions. You need to put on an explorer’s hat instead. Curiosity isn't about getting it right. It’s about collecting evidence and challenging norms. This allows you to approach the world more authentically.

When we shift from making assumptions to being more curious, life becomes richer and our relationships more authentic. Use emotional intelligence to build heightened awareness and better engage your curiosity whenever you catch yourself using a fixed mindset or making wild assumptions.


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