Daren Henderson, Founder of Trade Coach Ltd.
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Becoming a high-performing individual is a status we are all eager to achieve, and the quest to get there often leaves individuals feeling frustrated. The constant demands of everyday life mixed in with the guilt of "not" performing so high every day can be overwhelming.
Give yourself a break and forgive yourself as and when required.
To do so, let's take this back to cavemen days because our DNA hasn’t changed so much, and many attributes, emotions and psyches remain. We are still human after all and the last time I looked, our bodies were still built exactly the same.
We haven’t grown any other limbs and there’s little data to suggest these limbs work any better or worse than the caveman’s limbs. However, one thing is for sure these days—our lives are far more complex and unbelievably busy than a caveman's—much busier.
Let’s be honest. For the average caveman, from what we know, his main objective was to not be eaten by a bear and once that threat was diminished, he could pretty much gather some food (his main goal for the day) and relax for the remainder of the day. Sitting within his cave or high up on a mountain top, devouring his favorite cuisine of animal or plant was seen as a job well done—in caveman terms! For fun, records suggest that cavepeople danced, made music, told stories, drew pictures, carved objects, made plans, hunted and cooked. It’s even suggested they slept twice a day rather than once like the majority of humans these days.
Nobody needs to read me repeating old stuff about our day-to-day operations of emails, timescales, schedules, budgets, forecasting, meetings, zoom calls and the most difficult of all: parenting. But combining all our day-to-day stuff with the added pressure of performing well, achieving goals, not letting anyone down and reaching for the sparkly things in the sky is grinding us down; it’s depressing some people and can be unhealthy. As a serial goal-setter myself, this sounds like a slight contradiction, but bear with me.
I thoroughly enjoy setting goals, and I adore the feeling of dopamine when I achieve them; however, I also have mastered the skill of not beating myself up when I don’t. I allow myself a day off—lying in bed late and simply doing nothing and "sitting about in my cave" is a pleasant day these days. The key point is that I allow myself the privilege.
We are not designed to perform highly day in and day out.
The guy who owns a 250-foot yacht wants a 350-foot yacht. The gal who is worth $10 million wants $20 million. The person who owns two supercars wants three supercars, or three supercars and a 250-foot yacht—until he or she wants the 350-foot one. We will never win this game. Are we even aware we are playing it?
The constant chasing, the constant urge to be better, to perform highly, to be at our absolute best, day in and day out, would be far better replaced with "I’m going to do my best today" and if you don’t, then that’s OK. In some cases that’s actually very OK and healthier.
Life is different now; the caveman didn’t have to worry about being evicted from his cave or filling his car to get to work with crazy fuel prices. And it’s unlikely he had to be anywhere at any given time, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take a day off.
We’re designed to survive. If you can thrive during this time—great, why not—but if you can’t or don’t or you decide to lie in bed today, then that’s OK.
Let's look at a few ways you can learn to do this.
1. Take a nap. People in high-performing jobs or those who are business owners tend to feel guilty about stopping for any length of time. However, research would suggest that a well-rested human performs far better than a stressed, overworked and tired one.
2. Read. Kill two birds with one stone and relax for a while with a good book while learning at the same time.
3. Spend time with family. Probably the most important of all, take the family out or spend time with them and do not feel guilty about it; be present in their company and enjoy it. A happy household is most certainly a better base from which to begin and end your day.
4. Go for a walk. Walking is a fantastic way to learn to slow down, take in nature and be present with life. Exercise can provide dopamine and serotonin to lift your spirits and be ready for the next day.
5. Take a full day off. Removing yourself from work for a whole day other than a weekend is an equally fantastic way to rebalance things in your life and bring some peace and normality back.
And if all else fails, have a beer and enjoy it, because that's OK too!
We are not designed to be high-performing every single day. Slow down and give yourself a break.
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